


I Think I Do

by Larry_Klaine_Stylinson



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Firefighters, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-25
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 10:47:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/734810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larry_Klaine_Stylinson/pseuds/Larry_Klaine_Stylinson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is a firefighter. He's on duty one night and saves a young man from a burning bakery. After escorting him to the hospital to make sure he's alright, he finds that they get along quite well. The only problem is, he's already got a boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Think I Do

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written as a prompt fill on Tumblr.

Louis was lounging around the firehouse with a few of his mates. They were playing a game of cards, just passing the time. It was a slow night tonight, no fires yet so far. Louis was just about to win this hand when the alarm went off, signaling a fire.  
  
"Oh, bullocks. I had you bastards beaten, too."  
  
"You keep thinkin' that." One of the other firemen patted him on the shoulder as they all threw on their fire proof jackets over their white t-shirts and black braces, their fire proof pants and boots already on and in place.  
  
They dropped down the fire pole one by one and hopped onto the truck, sirens blaring as they sped off to the destination.  
  
They arrived just a few minutes later to see a small bakery up in flames, burning brightly in the setting sun. There was a little old woman standing by the street, tears in her eyes, her hands shaking badly.  
  
"Miss!" Louis yelled, running over to her as his fellow firefighters set to work on putting the fire out. "Is this your bakery?" He asked her, and she nodded in response. "Is anyone still inside?"  
  
"H-Harry!" She squeaked out. "Tall lad, curly brown hair; My best worker."  
  
Louis nodded quickly, sprinting off before she'd quite finished her sentence. He made his way inside the building quickly, a mask covering his face as he looked through the thick smoke, eyes peeled for a tall lad with curly brown hair. He found him, crumpled in a ball in the corner, covering his face from the smoke. He looked smaller than Louis had expected, but he supposed it was because he was curled up tight, and the smoke was enveloping him.  
  
Louis ran to him quickly, helping him up and guiding him out of the building in the safest way possible, keeping an eye out for any bits of ceiling that might be trying to cave in on them. Harry began coughing, dropping to his knees as if he couldn't hold himself up any longer. Louis wished he'd brought in back up. This boy was much larger than he was and he didn't know if he could carry him on his own, but he had to. So he knelt down, scooping the taller man into his arms and running out of the bakery as fast as he could whilst carrying someone who weighed at least as much as he did.  
  
Once outside he got them far enough away from the building that the air was clean and free of smoke. The little old woman was crying, talking to another fireman and a police officer.  
  
Harry seemed to be conscious, but barely so, his eyes flickering in and out of focus. There was an ambulance there now, and two men came over with a gurney, loading Harry onto it. Harry grabbed on to Louis' hand, and Louis wasn't sure what to do. It wasn't protocol to go to the hospital with anyone who got hurt in a fire, but he had seen a couple of his fellow firemen do it before, so he didn't think it wasn't allowed. His shift was over anyway. Had technically ended in the middle of all this, so he should be welcome to do as he pleased, and the way the curly haired lad was holding his hand felt as if he didn't want to be alone.  
  
Louis looked at the paramedics, "I'm coming along, lads." He said, as they pulled the gurney along, and he hopped into the back of the vehicle with them.  
  
Harry began to cough roughly, and Louis could practically hear the smoke that filled his lungs. A mask was placed over his face to help him breath and he seemed to calm a bit, his body relaxing. Louis noticed a few small burns along his arms, but nothing looked too serious. He hoped that it wasn't.  
  
It wasn't long before they arrived at the hospital, and Louis filled everyone there in on what had gone on. He knew most everyone there, seeing as firemen and doctors often worked on the same cases. Fires were a nasty thing. Louis stuck around, chatting with a few nurses he had befriended about a year ago when there had been a fire involving a little girl, and all the firemen had visited her once a week, bringing her goodies and telling her how brave she was and that everything was going to turn out well. The firemen and nurses had really bonded over that, and Louis found the ladies to be quite nice. He enjoyed their company.  
  
After chatting with them for a bit he decided he'd go see how Harry was doing. It was only right, since he'd come all the way here anyhow.  
  
He asked a couple of people which room Harry was in, and they told him he was welcome to go back and see him if he'd like, so he found his way back to Harry's room and knocked on the door.  
  
"Come in." Harry called, his voice rough with the damage from the smoke.  
  
Louis popped his head in, stepping slowly inside, "H'lo." He said, hands in his pockets. This was a bit awkward.  
  
"You saved me, yeah?" Harry asked.  
  
"Sure did." Louis informed him.  
  
"My hero." The curly haired lad joked, and Louis realized that this didn't have to be awkward.  
  
"You had a bit of a grip on my hand back there. Thought I ought to come along and make sure you were alright."  
  
"Thanks." Harry smiled. "I appreciate it. They've said I should be fine. I inhaled a lot of smoke, I guess, but they said that should all be fine in a day or so, but they want to keep me around for a few days to make sure these burns don't get infected. Apparently they're a lot worse than they look."  
  
"Well, I'm glad to hear you'll be making a rather easy recovery." Louis smiled.  
  
"Would you like to have a seat,-...Erm, I didn't catch your name?"  
  
"Louis. It's Louis." He thought for a moment. "And I'd love to, but I really ought to get going. My boyfriend's probably worried sick."  
  
"Boyfriend?" Harry's eyebrow quirked up. "Damn." He muttered with a chuckle.  
  
Louis felt himself blush, "Suppose I could stay for a few minutes, though, if you need the company." He did need to get home and call Nick. He was a firefighter as well, and whenever Louis was late getting home he'd get worried. He knew the dangers of the job. But they'd been fighting a lot recently, and they'd had a rather large spat last night, and Louis wasn't quite ready to speak to him yet.  
  
"I could use a bit of company, yeah." Harry smiled.  
  
"Alright then, Harry." Louis pulled up a chair, pulling out his phone to send a quick text to his boyfriend.  
  
To Nick: Held up at work. Wanted to let you know so you didn't worry. I'll talk to you soon, though, yeah? xx  
  
"So, Louis, you're a fireman." Harry said lamely, and Louis laughed.  
  
"Yep. Sure am. And you work in a bakery?"  
  
"Correct." Harry nodded. "So, this boyfriend of yours; He nice?"  
  
Louis shrugged. Nick was nice, but he really didn't want to talk about him.  
  
"A shrug?" Harry questioned. "Doesn't seem like you're too enthusiastic about him."  
  
"We've just not been getting on well the past month or so. We're both firemen, and we've got hectic schedules and hectic lives, so it's only natural that we'd get into little spats here and there. But I love him. He means the world to me, really."  
  
Harry nodded, and Louis wondered how he'd ended up spilling all of that out to a complete stranger.  
  
"Makes sense." Harry said, humming affirmatively.  
  
"What about you then?" Louis asked.  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Mhhm. Relationship?"  
  
"Nah. Not since I was young."  
  
"Oh, really?" Louis inquired. "Why not?"  
  
"Haven't found the right guy, I suppose." Harry shrugged.  
  
"I see." Louis hummed.  
  
"Enough about me." Harry said. "I'm boring."  
  
"I don't think you're boring." Louis said. In fact, he found Harry to be quite engaging to talk to. His eyes were a beautiful shade of green and they sparkled, even in the dim lighting of the hospital.  
  
"Well, thanks." Harry smiled, and Louis noticed a dimple pop up on his cheek. "What's it like being a fireman, though? I wish I had a job like that. Standing in a bakery tossing dough in an oven doesn't really make you feel very accomplished in life. I'm twenty five, you'd honestly think I'd be able to do something better with my life."  
  
"But, Harry." Louis said. "Baking bread is so important."  
  
They both broke out into a small fit of laughter, and Louis couldn't help but feel like he'd known Harry for ages.  
  
"But anyway." Louis began. "Being a fireman isn't all that great, really. You mostly just sit around until something happens. Although I was winning a nice game of cards today until the alarm went off and I had to go save you and your curly locks. I'm quite impressed with your ability to keep your hair from burning even as you scorched your arms right off." Louis laughed.  
  
"Sorry for ruining your card game there, mate." Harry smirked. "I'm just lucky about the hair. I don't think I'd really be me without it. It's been like this ever since it started curling. I can't bring myself to cut it off."  
  
"Don't." Louis told him. "It's quite nice. I'm fond of it."  
  
"Yeah?" Harry asked, and there was a little glimmer in his eye that looked maybe like he was flirting, and Louis couldn't do that, because he loved Nick.  
  
"Yeah." Louis nodded, swallowing hard. "I'd better get going, yeah? Was nice to meet you, Harry."  
  
"And you as well, Louis. Care to visit me again tomorrow? I'm going to be here for a couple of days and I doubt anyone else will be visiting."  
  
Louis knew that he shouldn't, but Harry was smiling at him brightly and he couldn't say no, "Just your luck, I've got the day off tomorrow."  
  
"See you then." Harry smiled.  
  
"See you, Harry."  
  
Louis left the hospital, walking a few blocks to a bus stop, hopping on the bus and heading home. Once he arrived he slipped out of his work clothes, grabbing a quick shower before tossing on a pair of old sweatpants.  
  
He flopped down on his bed, dialing Nick's number and waiting for him to pick up.  
  
"Hello?" He answered.  
  
"Hey, babe."  
  
"Hey, Lou. How was work?"  
  
"Good. Mostly uneventful until the very end of my shift and we got a call about a fire at a little bakery."  
  
"Everyone alright?"  
  
"Of course." Louis said. "What kind of fireman would I be if I let anyone die?"  
  
"A normal one." Nick chuckled. "We can't save them all, Lou."  
  
"Maybe you can't, but I can." Louis smiled, and it seemed as if things were back to normal between the two of them. He just hoped it'd stay like this.  
  
"I'm going to get some sleep." Nick told him. "Got the all day shift tomorrow."  
  
"Mm." Louis hummed. "You spending the night here after work?"  
  
"Probably. We'll see."  
  
Louis' flat was closer to the fire station than Nick's, so when Nick had a long day at work, he often crashed at Louis'. Louis supposed that might not be so good at helping to get their little fights to stop, considering that Nick was always stressed after a long day, but Louis couldn't very well tell him he wasn't welcome.  
  
"'Night."  
  
"G'night, Lou."  
  
Louis hung up the phone, letting out a loud yawn and stretching his arms over his head. He was hungry, but he was too tired to move. He pulled his covers back and slipped underneath, falling asleep nearly immediately.  
  
When he awoke the next day it was already mid-afternoon. He microwaved himself some leftover mac and cheese and gobbled it up before throwing on some skinny jeans, a striped shirt, and a purple jumper. He then went outside and hopped in his car, heading off to the hospital.  
  
When he arrived, he greeted the nurses, giving them all a large smile and a wave as he made his way down the hall to Harry's room. He knocked on the door, and Harry hollered for him to come in.  
  
"Hey." He smiled cheerily.  
  
"Hey, Louis."  
  
"And how are you this fine afternoon?"  
  
"You're chipper." Harry commented as Louis pulled a chair up next to his bed. "Things going well with the boyfriend then?"  
  
"His name's Nick." Louis informed him. "And that's not really any of your business."  
  
"I'll just take it you two had a shag last night then."  
  
Louis gaped at him for a moment, in shock that he'd even said such a thing, "We certainly did not!" He finally said. "I didn't even see him last night."  
  
"I was joking, Lou." Harry laughed.  
  
"Right. Yeah." Louis nodded awkwardly.  
  
"Boy, you sure can be uptight sometimes, hm?"  
  
"I'm offended by that statement." Louis crossed his arms over his chest. "I happen to be extremely fun and care free."  
  
"When?" Harry asked with a cheeky grin on his face.  
  
"Always!"  
  
"I'm not seeing it."  
  
"Well, you're just not looking hard enough."  
  
"Louis, your head nearly exploded when I asked you if you'd had a shag last night."  
  
"Because we just met yesterday." Louis argued. "What right have you to ask me that? Hm?"  
  
"Well, considering it was a joke, I've got every right." Harry chuckled. "And considering the way you reacted, I'd say you're uptight."  
  
"Am not." Louis grumbled, sinking lower in his chair.  
  
"Prove it then."  
  
"How on earth do you want me to prove it?"  
  
"Go out there and steal a lunch off the cart and bring it back here. We can split it."  
  
"If you're hungry you can just ask for a fruit cup, Harry."  
  
"This isn't about me being hungry." Harry shook his head, almost as if he were disappointed. "This is about you being uptight."  
  
"Not uptight."  
  
"Then go and steal a lunch tray."  
  
"If this were a school I'd be all for it, but this is a hospital, Harold."  
  
Harry smacked himself in the forehead, "No one ever calls me Harold. That's just about the most uptight thing I've ever heard. Ever."  
  
"Fine, Harry, fine! I'll do it."  
  
Now that Louis came to think about it, he had been a lot less excitable lately. A bit more boring. He still wouldn't call himself uptight, but he wasn't the happy go lucky prankster he used to be. He had just assumed it was because he was growing up, though, not because he was changing. But change wasn't always a bad thing. No matter, he was going to go steal a lunch tray.  
  
He peeked his head out the door, scanning the area and spotting a lunch cart with no one around. He sprinted down the hall, grabbing a tray of food and running back to Harry's room quickly, shutting the door tight behind him. Harry smiled up at him from the hospital bed on which he was lounging and there was a twinkle in his eye. In no time they were both laughing.  
  
"I don't even like hospital food." Harry admitted.  
  
"You wanker!" Louis said.  
  
"Hey, is that any way to speak to someone you've practically just met?"  
  
"In your mind, apparently."  
  
"Touche." Harry said, a lopsided smile landing upon his face.  
  
"What am I meant to do with this food then?"  
  
"Go put it back." Harry shrugged.  
  
"You're ridiculous." Louis said, leaving the room and taking the tray back to the cart, placing it right back where he'd taken it from.  
  
He walked back into the room and Harry was still laughing, his feet kicking a bit under the blankets.  
  
"It wasn't that funny, Harry. I'm disappointed. You could've come up with something much better."  
  
"Well I think it was hilarious."  
  
"You've got a terrible sense of humor, then." Louis told him.  
  
"Eh, I have been told that. Many times, actually."  
  
"That explains you."  
  
"Rude." Harry said, but he was still smiling.  
  
Louis sat down in the chair he'd placed next to Harry's bed and propped his feet up on Harry's sheets.  
  
"You're going to get mud on my bed." Harry complained. "You're disgusting. Why did I ask you to come back here?"  
  
"Dunno." Louis said, actually genuinely curious. "Why did you?"  
  
Harry opened and closed his mouth a few times, not sure what to say, "Didn't want to get lonely, I suppose." He shrugged, but Louis sensed something more in his eyes. Something that maybe wasn't so good, considering that Louis had a boyfriend who he loved very much.  
  
Speaking of, just then, his phone vibrated in his pocket.  
  
To Louis: Got off work early. I'll be heading to yours soon.  
  
To Nick: Sounds great, babe.  
  
"Unfortunately I've got to go." Louis said, frowning slightly. He really did feel bad leaving Harry.  
  
"Ah." Harry nodded. "The boyfriend?"  
  
"The boyfriend."  
  
"Come say hi tomorrow maybe?"  
  
"I'll see what I can do." Louis said. "Nick and I are both working the late shift tomorrow night."  
  
"Alright." Harry nodded. "Well, bye then, Lou."  
  
"Bye, Harry." Louis waved as he left Harry's room, exiting the hospital and driving home quickly, hoping to get there before Nick.  
  
It wasn't that he didn't want Nick to know where he was. It was just that if Nick got there and Louis wasn't there, he'd worry.  
  
He ended up getting there just a few moments before Nick, barely having time to kick off his shoes before his boyfriend was knocking on the door. He opened it and greeted Nick with a smile, hugging him tightly.  
  
"How was work, love?"  
  
"Interesting." Was all he said, and he was usually quite chatty, so Louis knew if he'd wanted to say more, he would have.  
  
"Want to order a pizza and watch a film?"  
  
"Sounds absolutely perfect."  
  
And so that was what they did. They ordered a pizza and watched a few films. Louis let Nick pick them all, because he seemed to be in a bit of a mood. Louis kept trying to get him to talk, but he wouldn't.  
  
It was late now, and Louis suggested they get some sleep. Nick agreed easily. He had a drawer of clothes at Louis' house, and so he changed into some light gray sweatpants, and Louis changed into a pair of light weight pajama bottoms and they slipped under Louis' covers.  
  
"Everything alright?" Louis asked him softly, only the bedside lamp on to light the room.  
  
Nick simply nodded.  
  
Louis sighed, annoyed now, "Why won't you talk to me?"  
  
"Maybe I just don't feel like talking, Louis!" He shouted.  
  
"Well maybe you should just talk anyway because I'm your boyfriend and I want to help!" Louis yelled back, sitting up. "This is why we fight all the time, Nick. Because you never fucking talk to me anymore."  
  
"Right. I'm the reason we fight. Alright, Lou." Nick scoffed. "It's not like you've been taking a bunch of extra hours at the fire station, most of which are on days that I'm not working, so I never get to see you anymore. That's not the problem at all."  
  
"Is that what you're so upset about?" Louis asked, eyebrows furrowing together.  
  
"Part of it." Nick huffed.  
  
"Honestly?" Louis asked. "That's ridiculous."  
  
"Oh, perfect. Tell me to talk and then tell me I'm ridiculous when I do. Great plan, Lou."  
  
"Stop." Louis said. "Just stop it. Just because I'm working more doesn't mean I love you any less. That's why you're ridiculous."  
  
Nick sighed, "You're right. You're right, I'm sorry."  
  
"No, I'm sorry." Louis said. "I should've been more perceptive."  
  
Nick shook his head, "I should've told you what was bothering me."  
  
"So we're alright then?"  
  
"We're alright." Nick said, leaning in and kissing Louis lightly on the lips.  
  
Louis rolled over onto his side and let Nick wrap him up in his arms, letting out a small contented sigh. He hated fighting with him.  
  
000  
  
The next morning Louis awoke to the smell of bacon and eggs. He made his way out to the kitchen where Nick stood, spatula in the frying pan, serving up two plates of food.  
  
"Smells delicious." Louis smiled.  
  
"I try, I try." Nick said, handing Louis his plate as they sat next to each other at the table.  
  
As they ate, Louis decided to bring up Harry, "Remember the bakery fire from the other night?"  
  
"Mhhm."  
  
"Well, I saved a guy there. Harry was his name. He's pretty lonely in the hospital, so I've been visiting him. Want to come with me and drop by on the way to work?"  
  
"Sure." Nick said. "He a kid?" Nick asked, and Louis assumed it was because the two of them only ever really visited children at the hospital.  
  
"No." Louis shook his head. "Twenty five, actually."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yep." Louis smiled at his boyfriend.  
  
"He special then?"  
  
"What do you mean?" Louis asked.  
  
"You just usually only visit the kids."  
  
"Harry hasn't got anyone else to visit him, and he's really quite fun to talk to. You'll like him, Nick."  
  
"I'm sure." Nick smiled, but Louis sensed that he wasn't quite as enthusiastic as he would've liked him to be.  
  
000  
  
After breakfast Nick let Louis drag him down to the hospital to meet this Harry fellow he'd been talking about. Nick couldn't help but feel jealous at the little sparkle Louis would get in his eyes whenever he talked about him, and it was silly really, because Louis hardly knew this guy, and he and Nick had been dating for nearly two years now. He didn't need to feel jealous. He didn't need to worry.  
  
They arrived at the hospital and Nick followed Louis back to Harry's room.  
  
He watched on as Louis knocked, and then he heard a nice husky voice from the other side, telling them to come in.  
  
Louis stepped inside, and Nick followed, "Hi, Harry. This is Nick."  
  
"Ah, the infamous boyfriend." Harry smiled. "Nice to meet you."  
  
"You as well, mate." Nick said.  
  
The fact that Louis had talked to Harry about him had him feeling a bit reassured, a bit better about the whole situation. That was until he and Louis sat down, and he spent the next two hours watching his boyfriend chatting with his new friend, neither of them making much of an effort to keep Nick in the conversation, and Nick not feeling much like talking at this point.  
  
This Harry kid was absolutely one hundred percent flirting with Louis, and Louis wasn't doing anything to stop him. Then again, Louis could be a bit oblivious on occasion. Louis wasn't actively flirting back, but he was being his charming self, and that was really enough.  
  
Nick couldn't blame Harry. Louis was gorgeous and charming and sweet and funny, and in Harry's case, he'd saved his life. There was bound to be some adoration there.  
  
But it was Louis that bothered him. Because what Nick had to admit to himself was that Louis had smiled more in the past two hours with Harry than he could ever remember him smiling in their nearly two year relationship.  
  
It was painful to see, really. And Nick wondered if it might be better to break up with Louis.  
  
Louis probably wouldn't understand, though, would he? He'd be heartbroken.  
  
He couldn't do that, then. He'd just have to stick around. Try and fix things between he and Louis so maybe Louis wouldn't feel like he needed to spend time with Harry. Once Harry was out of the hospital they wouldn't be seeing each other anymore anyway, would they? Things would go back to normal, or hopefully even better than normal. Hopefully he and Louis could work on their relationship and figure themselves out and stop fighting all the time.  
  
It was time for them to head to work now, and they both stood up.  
  
"Hey, Lou." Harry smiled. "I'm getting out of here tomorrow. My burns are healing up nicely."  
  
"That's great, Harry!"  
  
"Yeah. Was wondering if you might wanna exchange numbers? Keep in touch? You and Nick and I could go out for drinks or something when you've got a day off, yeah?"  
  
"Absolutely." Louis smiled, and Nick watched as the two exchanged numbers, trying to keep the scowl off his face.  
  
They departed then, Louis taking Nick's hand in his as they walked out to the car, and everything seemed normal. Nick didn't know how to feel about Harry. All he knew was that it seemed like he made Louis happy, and if that was the case, then he supposed he liked him.  
  
000  
  
A few months passed, and Louis was spending a lot of his free time out with Harry. He made sure to bring Nick along whenever he was off work, not wanting him to feel left out.  
  
He had to admit, though, he was becoming conflicted. He loved Nick with all his heart, he truly did. But Harry was fun and he made him laugh and it was easier talking to him than it was with Nick. He had bright green eyes and Louis liked to look at them.  
  
He'd been trying to talk to Nick more lately, work out their problems, and for the most part it was working. But there was something strange going on with Nick lately. He seemed a little less excited, a little less enthusiastic about absolutely everything. Louis was worried about him.  
  
He and Nick were staying at the fire station overnight, a few guys having had to call off, and Louis and Nick were always the first to offer to stay late. They were lounging around, cuddling on the couch in one of their big rec rooms, laughing as a few of the other lads made fun of them. They were the only gay guys at that particular fire station and everyone loved them, but they also couldn't pass up a good opportunity to tease them for being so cuddly.  
  
Louis was glad Nick was feeling cuddly tonight. He hadn't been cuddling as much lately, and Louis had missed it. He hadn't been coming out with he and Harry anymore recently either, opting to stay back at Louis' flat and sit around. He hardly ever went back to his own flat anymore, though, and Louis thought that maybe that was a good sign. Everything was just so confusing.  
  
The alarm went off and Louis, Nick and the rest of the men on the shift were off, throwing on their fire resistant clothing and sliding down the pole, hopping on the truck and speeding off.  
  
It was a house fire tonight. Those usually went off without a hitch, unless it was a large family. Tonight, however, it didn't seem as if it was going to go so smoothly. The fire was absolutely blazing, and there was a mother, father and son standing outside, all shouting for someone named Lizzy.  
  
"Who's Lizzy?" Louis asked quickly.  
  
"Our daughter." The mother cried. "She's only twelve. You have to help her, please!"  
  
Louis was off, running towards the house and making his way inside. He found the little girl on the top floor of the house, hiding away from the smoke. He got to her and helped her find a path out of the house. She made it out easily, but a bit of the ceiling collapsed in front of Louis and he wasn't sure he was going to be able to make it out. He couldn't find another way.  
  
He crouched down on the ground, trying to get below the smoke while still managing to find a way out. The smoke was thickening, and the fire was starting to get extremely hot all around him. He was pretty sure he didn't have much time left before the whole house just collapsed on top of him. That was when he heard it. Faint screams of his name. It was Nick. He must have managed to find a back way in.  
  
"Nick!" Louis called. "Nick, I'm here."  
  
Nick rushed over to him, "I found a back way in, but the ceiling's caved in. We can't get back out that way."  
  
"Shit." Louis muttered. "Why'd you have to try and save me? Now we're both going to die in here."  
  
"No we aren't." Nick said. "Here."  
  
He picked Louis up, lifting him up high and setting him on the other side of the fallen ceiling.  
  
Louis looked at him across the flames, trying to see him through the smoke, "Nick?" He called. "Nick, how're you getting out?"  
  
"Go, Louis." Nick said.  
  
"No, you can't just...Nick, I'm not going to-" Louis was cut off as they both heard the ceiling above Louis' head creak as if it were about to fall. The whole house was about to collapse.  
  
"Lou, GO!"  
  
Louis didn't want to, but he ran. He ran out of the house and down the drive, out into the street where the ambulance was waiting. As he ran, he heard a crash behind him. When he turned around, the entire house had fallen, and he knew there was no chance of getting Nick out. If the house hadn't crushed him, the smoke had suffocated him, or the fire had burnt him to a crisp. It was too late at this point. The paramedics were trying to get Louis to sit down, let them do a few tests, but Louis was having none of it. He was fine, and his boyfriend was dead. He was dead all because he'd tried to save Louis; Succeeded in saving him.  
  
Louis fell to his knees, beginning to cry. He cried as hard as his smoke filled lungs would let him, coughing and sobbing. He didn't know how long he was there, just crying. He vaguely noticed the family walking up to him, and then the little girl and boy were wrapping him up in a hug, thanking him repeatedly and telling him they were sorry about his friend. The mother and father thanked him once, and then pulled their children off him, realizing he needed to be left alone.  
  
A few of Louis' fellow firemen came over, helping Louis off the ground and wrapping him up in a tight hug. They escorted him back to the truck and when they got back to the station, one of them offered to drive him home, but his shift wasn't over for another hour, and Louis wasn't going to abandon them.  
  
He sat in the corner, silent, not really hearing anything anyone was saying. When the hour finally passed, he insisted he was fine to drive himself home, and then he was gone.  
  
000  
  
The next morning when he woke up, he had a few missed texts from Harry.  
  
To Louis: Louis, please tell me you're okay.  
  
To Louis: I saw it on the news. A fire fighter died last night.  
  
To Louis: You'd better respond to me real soon, Louis, or I'm going to have a heart attack.  
  
To Louis: Louis?  
  
Those were all sent nearly an hour ago, and Louis sort of hoped Harry wasn't worrying too much, but he wasn't able to feel much else besides grief at the moment.  
  
To Harry: I'm fine.  
  
To Harry: It was Nick. Harry, it was Nick.  
  
To Louis: Oh, God, Lou. I'm so sorry.  
  
To Harry: He saved me. I was stuck in there and he saved me and now he's gone.  
  
To Louis: Do you want...Do you want to go out? Get your mind off it?  
  
To Harry: No. Thanks, Harry. But no.  
  
To Louis: Alright. Just give me a ring if you need me. I'll be here.  
  
To Harry: Thanks.  
  
Louis put his phone down, curling in on himself. Part of him wanted to talk to Harry, but another part of him felt guilty for spending the past few months with Harry at all. He should've spent more time with Nick. He should've made sure Nick knew how much he loved him. And how could Nick be so stupid? He shouldn't have come in there. He should never ever have tried to save him.  
  
Everything was wrong.  
  
000  
  
Two weeks passed, and Louis continued going to work as if everything was normal, though everyone knew that it wasn't. Everyone kept sending him sympathetic looks, and he wished they'd just stop.  
  
Today was Nick's funeral, and it was just Louis, Nick's close relatives, and all the men and women who worked down at the fire station.  
  
Louis sat by himself, not wanting to talk to Nick's family, afraid they would blame him. He knew he blamed himself. Nick had been trying to save him after all.  
  
He sat there and cried, and he didn't go to the small gathering afterwards, choosing to go home instead; Clear Nick's things out of his designated drawer. There was no use keeping them all around anymore.  
  
He was packing Nick's clothes up into a large bag when he stumbled upon what looked to be a small diary of some sort.  
  
He opened it up, and the first entries were nothing spectacular. Just odd little rambling that Nick had told Louis himself, and Louis smiled at the fact that Nick had trusted him enough to tell him things that he'd written in his diary.  
  
As he ventured deeper in, though, he found an entry that caught his attention. It wasn't about flowers or what he thought of the weather or his strange ramblings about music or philosophy. No. It was about Louis. More importantly, it was about Louis and Harry.  
  
It read:  
  
 _I know Lou doesn't love me anymore. Not the way he used to. And at first I was upset. I was angry and I was jealous and I just didn't get it._  
  
Tears sprung to Louis' eyes as he realized that he'd made Nick feel that way. He'd never meant to. And he wanted to call Nick an idiot. Tell him how absolutely stupid he was for thinking that Louis didn't love him anymore, because of course he loved him. He loved him so much and he missed him.  
  
He continued to read.  
  
 _But now, when I see him with Harry, I can't be upset. Because when he's with Harry he smiles wider than I've ever seen him smile before, and his eyes twinkle in that special way that they did when he was first falling for me. And I know I'm not what he needs anymore. And maybe he doesn't even realize it, but it's so clear to me when I look at the two of them._  
 _I don't think Harry sees it either._  
 _What Harry does see, though, is what an amazing person Louis is._  
 _And when he looks at Louis, his eyes are the only ones that can shine brighter than the blue ones I know so well._  
 _It isn't right for me to stay between them like this, even if I was here first._  
 _Because I love Louis, and that's why I have to let him go, right?_  
 _Because my job used to be to make him happy, but that's Harry's job now._  
 _I can tell they love each other. It's not something that either of them hide very well._  
 _So I guess I'll wait for the right time, yeah?_  
 _I'll wait for the right time, and I'll tell Louis all this, and I'll set him free._  
 _And we'll always be friends. Of course we'll always be friends, even if it's hard for me._  
 _But knowing that I'm the one holding him back....It's harder than not being with him._  
 _I just have to figure out how to let him go._  
  
Louis was crying now, tears streaming down his face, because Nick really had let him go alright. He'd died, and Louis was completely free now.  
  
He was angry. Furious even. He hated that Nick had gone like that and left him feeling so vulnerable and alone. He hated that Nick hadn't decided to fight for him. To keep him.  
  
But as his tears slowed down and his brain became a bit less foggy, he realized that Nick was right.  
  
Nick was holding him back from exploring his feelings for Harry. And Louis didn't know if he loved Harry; Not yet. But if Nick thought he did, chances were that he did, because Nick knew him better than practically anyone.  
  
He pulled out his phone, texting Harry.  
  
To Harry: Mind if I come over?  
  
To Louis: Not at all. I'll make tea, yeah?  
  
Louis didn't bother responding, just threw on his shoes and hopped in the car, the page from the diary having been ripped out and folded neatly in his pocket.  
  
This was his first time speaking to Harry since Nick's death, and it was strange, having gone that long without a word to him.  
  
He drove quickly, maybe a little quicker than he should have been, and pulled up in front of Harry's house. He got out of the car, walking up and knocking on the door.  
  
Harry opened it, smiling warmly at him, and Louis let his heart swell up with joy like it always tried to, not having to push the feeling aside for Nick's sake anymore.  
  
"Hey, Lou." Harry greeted, pulling Louis into a tight hug that made his heart absolutely ache. "How are you doing?"  
  
"Alright." Louis said. "Harry, we need to talk about something."  
  
Harry looked at him quizzically, "Okay. Sure." Harry stepped aside, letting Louis into his house.  
  
Louis walked in, sitting somewhat awkwardly on the couch, his hands clasped together in his lap. Harry brought two mugs of tea out from the kitchen, setting one in front of Louis and sitting next to him.  
  
"What is it we need to talk about?" Harry asked, sounding almost worried.  
  
Louis pulled the paper from his pocket, handing it to Harry.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
"It was Nick's. Just read it."  
  
"Are you sure? Is it personal, or-?"  
  
"Read it, Harry."  
  
Louis watched as Harry's eyes scanned the page, and he saw tears collecting there, Harry blinking rapidly in an attempt to get them to go away. When he was finished reading he looked up at Louis, expression soft.  
  
"Was, um. Was he right?" Louis asked.  
  
"About which?" Harry asked. "Only you can know if most of this was true. It was primarily about you."  
  
"Which part do you think I mean, Harry?" Louis asked.  
  
"The part about me loving you?"  
  
Louis nodded.  
  
"I think...I think I do. I can't be sure until...Until we talk about it more, I guess. It just...It really wasn't an option before, with Nick around." Harry sighed. "I know you miss him."  
  
"I do." Louis nodded. "But if I'm being honest, Harry...After he died the only person I really wanted to talk to was you. And that made me feel horrible. Because he was my boyfriend, Harry, not you. But I just wanted you to make me feel better. And...And after reading that letter I feel like that might be what he would've wanted."  
  
"So you do have feelings for me?" Harry asked, and Louis nodded. "Did you have feelings for me before Nick died?"  
  
Louis nodded, "From the second day in the hospital, I think. But I couldn't...I couldn't let myself feel them, you know? Because I was dating Nick, and I wasn't going to be that guy. That awful guy who...Who's with someone when they wish they were with someone else."  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
"Harry can you...Would you kiss me?"  
  
"You're sure you want me to?" Harry asked, and Louis nodded. "It's not too soon?" Louis shook his head. "There's nothing I'd like more, Lou."  
  
Harry leaned in slowly, cupping Louis' cheek in his hand before pressing their lips together gently. Louis wrapped his hands around Harry's neck, and Harry brought his free hand down to rest gently on Louis' hip. Louis leaned in closer, pressing their lips together more firmly, and Harry exhaled deeply through his nose, his breath ghosting over Louis' cheek. Harry's tongue slowly escaped from his mouth, trailing slowly along Louis' bottom lip, and Louis opened his mouth, allowing Harry's tongue inside. He moved it around slowly, exploring. He ran it along the backs of Louis' teeth and licked along Louis' own tongue, causing the blue eyed man to let out a small mewl.  
  
Harry pulled back then, breathing deeply, nearly panting, "We should drink our tea, yeah?"  
  
"Don't want to." Louis shook his head.  
  
And maybe Harry would think that Louis was just desperate for attention after Nick's death, or that he was using Harry, even if he did have feelings for him. But that wasn't the case at all. He didn't want to kiss just anyone. He wanted to kiss Harry. And he didn't just want to kiss him because Nick was gone, because if he was being brutally honest with himself, he'd wanted this for a lot longer than that.  
  
He leaned into Harry again, connecting their lips. He was the one to bring his tongue out this time, making its way into Harry's mouth slowly and exploring the inside. His mouth was warm and comforting and it felt nice and Harry felt nice and everything was nice. Louis slipped his hand under the hem of Harry's shirt, running it up over his warm stomach and chest, sighing into the kiss at the feeling of Harry's soft flesh beneath his fingers.  
  
He pushed Harry back on the couch a bit, and Harry's legs spread apart, allowing Louis to nestle himself between them, pushing their bodies closer together. Louis could feel Harry's erection pressing against him and there was no chance he wasn't going to help him with that.  
  
He pulled away from the kiss, breathing heavy, "Can we go to your room?" He asked, his voice breathy.  
  
"Are you sure you want to?" Harry asked, looking concerned.  
  
"I'm positive, Harry. Just trust me, okay?"  
  
"Okay. Yeah." Harry nodded, and Louis clambered off of him.  
  
Harry took Louis by the hand, dragging him to his bedroom and closing the door quickly behind them.  
  
Louis went and laid down on the bed, Harry following after him and settling himself on top of him. He kissed Louis again, this time just their lips moving against each other. They moved quickly, surely, every movement in sync. Harry trailed soft kisses down Louis' neck, and Louis sighed happily at the feeling. Harry's hands found the hem of his shirt, and he looked at Louis as if asking permission to remove the article of clothing, to which Louis nodded. Harry pulled Louis' shirt off over his head, letting his hands roam around the newly exposed flesh.  
  
"You're beautiful." Harry said, sounding practically entranced.  
  
"Yours, too." Louis said, tugging at the hem of Harry's shirt.  
  
Harry nodded, tugging the offending item off over his head, and Louis breathed in sharply; Harry's skin was a bit more pale than his own, and it was glistening softly, already coated in a thin sheen of sweat.  
  
"You're beautiful." He whispered.  
  
"Hey." Harry said. "That's my line."  
  
They both chuckled softly, and Harry leaned down, trailing kisses all along Louis' neck, sucking a small bruise on his jaw before trailing a few more kisses down his neck and along his chest, stopping to take one of Louis' nipples into his mouth. Louis' hips bucked up of their own accord, his erection rubbing against Harry's causing him to moan involuntarily. Harry smirked, taking the older boy's other nipple into his mouth and sucking lightly, nipping at it gently with his teeth, and Louis tangled his fingers in Harry's hair, breathing in sharply, is hips canting upwards again. Harry let out a low groan this time as their erections brushed against each other.  
  
"Can we...Harry, could you...?"  
  
"Could I what, Lou?" Harry asked softly.  
  
Louis didn't know. He didn't know what he wanted, and he told Harry as much.  
  
"It's fine." Harry said. "Whatever you want, we'll do it. And if you don't know what you want then we'll just stick to kissing."  
  
Louis didn't know what it was that he wanted, but he definitely wanted to do more than kiss, "Just...Take my trousers off." He begged. "I don't care what you do after that, but just..Please."  
  
"Yeah." Harry nodded. "Yeah, okay."  
  
Harry quickly unbuttoned and unzipped Louis' jeans and pulled them off along with his briefs before doing the same with his own trousers and briefs. He then settled himself back down on top of Louis, their erections lining up before leaning in to kiss him hard on the mouth. Their lips moved together at an almost frantic pace, and Harry rutted his hips against Louis' their erections rubbing together and creating amazing friction. But Louis wanted more. He wasn't sure what more he wanted, he just wanted more.  
  
"Harry, do...Do something else." Louis said.  
  
"Like what, Lou?" Harry asked. "What do you want?"  
  
"Just...Something. Anything."  
  
"Okay." Harry nodded, trailing his lips along Louis' neck before settling them right above his collarbone and sucking hard.  
  
He moved a hand between their bodies, wrapping his and Louis' dicks in one large hand, pumping them quickly, and Louis groaned, the feeling of his and Harry's cocks both wrapped up in the same hand sending little sparks of electricity through his whole body.  
  
Harry pumped their cocks, sucking on Louis' flesh until he could quite honestly feel the bruise forming. He let out a low groan at the thought, his hips bucking up into Harry's fist, their cocks rubbing against one another harshly, causing them both to moan.  
  
"Fuck." Harry muttered, detaching his lips from Louis' collarbone.  
  
Louis brought his hand down, joining Harry's in wrapping around their lengths, the two of them working together, both of them pumping both of their cocks quickly, their fingers wrapped around them and entwined with each other, and Louis felt like this was extremely intimate. Almost as intimate as actual sex, but not quite, and he thought that maybe he'd really like to be that intimate. But he also thought that maybe that would be moving too fast, and he didn't want to scare Harry off. But Harry had said they could do whatever Louis wanted, and Louis knew now that that was what he wanted to do.  
  
"Harry." Louis panted. "Harry, could we...?"  
  
"What?" Harry asked softly, a whine escaping his lips as Louis' ran his thumb over the head of Harry's cock. "C'mon, Lou, tell me what you want."  
  
"Can we just...Can we just do it?" Louis asked, exasperatedly. He was certain there were a thousand ways he could have put that which would have sounded much more elegant, but he couldn't be expected to think of any of them right now.  
  
"It it?"  
  
"Yeah." Louis nodded. "It it." He was glad that Harry was no more eloquent than he was.  
  
"You're sure you want to?"   
  
"Yes, Harry." Louis sighed, getting almost frustrated, but really appreciating that Harry was so concerned with making sure this was what he wanted.  
  
Harry nodded, reaching over into his side table drawer and pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom. He dropped the condom on the bed next to them and handed the lube to Louis.  
  
"Oh." Louis said. "You want me to...To stretch myself?" He asked.  
  
"No." Harry chuckled, rolling off of Louis and onto his back, spreading his legs a bit.  
  
"Oh!" Louis said. "You want me to top, then?"  
  
"Yeah." Harry nodded. "Unless...Unless you aren't comfortable with that. I'm versatile, really, but I prefer it like this."  
  
"No." Louis shook his head quickly. "I've always wanted to. Just, um. Nick always liked to top."  
  
"Well, you're in luck that I like to bottom then." Harry smiled, reaching over and squeezing Louis' hip reassuringly. "Is this your first time topping then?"  
  
"Yeah." Louis nodded, feeling a bit nervous now.  
  
"You'll be amazing. Go ahead."  
  
Louis bit his lip, nodding as he squirted some of the lube out onto his fingers, running one slowly around Harry's rim before pushing in carefully. He thrust in and out slowly, and it was a strange feeling, having his fingers inside someone else's body like this. He added a second, scissoring them, and Harry let out a groan. Louis smiled a little to himself at that, proud that he'd been able to cause Harry to make such a sound with just his fingers. He thrust in and out a few more times, trying to make sure he stretched Harry properly. He didn't want to end up hurting him.  
  
"Lou, more." Harry begged.  
  
Louis added a third finger along with the first two, thrusting in slowly, taking his time, letting Harry adjust. Once his fingers were moving in and out freely and easily, he looked into Harry's deep green, lust filled eyes.  
  
"Ready?" He asked.  
  
"So ready." Harry breathed, causing Louis' stomach to knot up in the most wonderful way.  
  
Louis opened the condom, rolling it on his leaking cock before spreading more lube across it, coating it thoroughly. He then lined himself up with Harry's hole, pushing in slowly. Harry breathed in sharply, and he stopped moving, thinking he'd hurt him, until Harry's hands came to rest on his hips, pulling them forward slowly, and Louis realized that it had been a breath of pleasure. He began moving his hips on his own again, without Harry guiding him along, but Harry still kept his hands resting there gently. Louis had his hands placed firmly on either side of Harry's head, keeping himself up.  
  
He bottomed out and gave Harry a moment to adjust before pulling his hips back and slowly thrusting deep inside.  
  
Harry let out a long low groan, his eyes rolling back in his head, "Fuck."  
  
Arousal shot through Louis at the sight and he began to move his hips slightly faster, working out a slow rhythm, thrusting deeply into him. He began changing the angle of his hips just slightly with each thrust, looking for a certain spot within Harry. He knew he had found what he was looking for when Harry cried out loudly, his fingers digging in to Louis' hips and his eyes squeezing shut for just a moment.  
  
"Yeah." He breathed out, panting softly. "Yeah, right there, Lou."  
  
Harry turned his head to the side, bringing his mouth to Louis' wrist and sucking on it gently. Louis groaned loudly, Harry's mouth feeling strange sucking on that particular area. Louis had never received a love bite there before and it was new and exciting. He began to thrust a little faster, his hips working quickly, and Harry moaned against his skin, sucking harder and occasionally biting down gently on the flesh.  
  
"Harry." Louis panted. "Shit."  
  
Harry ceased sucking on Louis' wrist, flicking his tongue out and running it along the skin soothingly before turning his head back to face Louis again, looking him deep in the eyes.  
  
"Faster, Louis, come on."  
  
Louis sped his hips up, just as Harry had asked, thrusting deep and hitting his prostate with every thrust.  
  
"Louis, I - Fuck." Harry's grip tightened on Louis' waist. "I'm close."  
  
"Me too." Louis breathed. "Me too, love."  
  
Louis brought a hand down, wrapping it around Harry's leaking cock and pumping it in time with his thrusts. He wasn't so sure he was coordinated enough for this. Topping was harder than it seemed. But he loved it. Loved the feeling of Harry all around him, squeezing him, loved being enveloped by the heat of Harry surrounding him.  
  
He thrust in deep, his thumb flicking over the head of Harry's cock and Harry groaned harshly, biting his lip hard.  
  
"Lou, ah!" Harry panted. "I'm gonna...I'm gonna-"  
  
Louis picked up his speed quickly, slamming into Harry hard and running his hand up and down his cock so quickly he was nearly surprised it didn't catch fire. He flicked his thumb over the head and into the slit, and then Harry was coming; Hot, white spurts of liquid shooting out and hitting them both in the chest.  
  
"Oh, fuck, Lou. Fuck." Harry panted, his eyes squeezing shut for a moment, and Louis wondered if he'd made him see stars. He hoped he had.  
  
With Harry clenching tightly around him, it only took him half a dozen more thrusts, and then he was coming into the condom, deep inside Harry, moaning out something incoherent, but he'd meant for it to be Harry's name.  
  
After he caught his breath a bit, he pulled out of Harry, taking the condom off and tying it before throwing it in the bin next to his bed.  
  
He lay down on his side next to Harry and wrapped his arms around him despite the fact that they were both sticky with Harry's come, and it would certainly get uncomfortable soon.  
  
"Hey, Lou?" Harry said.  
  
"Hmm?" Louis hummed happily.  
  
"I really think I do."  
  
"Think you do what?"  
  
"Love you."  
  
"Oh." Louis said.  
  
And he knew it wasn't just the sex talking, knew that they'd both been feeling these things for a while, but weren't letting themselves truly feel them because of Nick.  
  
He nuzzled his face in Harry's neck, breathing in deeply; And he smelled of sweat, and sex, but mostly he smelled like Harry, "I really think I love you, too."


End file.
